Orion BurgerOrion Burger

Year:  1996

Genre:  Sci-Fi

Links:  Moby Games, Adventure Gamers

Orion Burger is a comedy science-fiction adventure game. You play as Wilbur, an unwitting human who is abducted by aliens working for the intergalactic food chain Orion Burger. You are subjected to a series of tests to determine the intelligence of the human race. You can restart each test at any stage by being abducted again.

Neuroanalysis Test

The goal of this test is to survive an electric shock to your head.

Earth

Climb up the fire escape to the top of the Barber shop. Move the satellite dish, then quickly climb back down and enter the Barber shop. Move the Lazy Susan so that the different types of hair wax are switched in position. When Harry comes back inside, ask for a haircut. Ask for the blue hair wax, then agree just to use the regular hair wax. Ask to put the amount on your tab, then say you are "good for it". Use the Abduct-o-tron.

Test

You will now automatically pass the test. Talk to Astral why you are in the brig, then you will be taken to the next test.

Survival Test

The goal of this test is to kill some dangerous cyborg gerbils and escape a maze.

Test

You will start this section with a ray gun. Use the Abduct-o-tron, as you don't have everything you need yet.

Earth

Go up the road towards Town Hall, then continue left towards Aunt Polly's house. Go inside, then head upstairs and enter Wilbur's room. Take the broken Puz dispenser from the bookcase on the left. Return outside.

Go across the road and enter Vera's Diner. Pick up the mouse trap, and you will end up with just the spring. Connect this to your Puz dispenser to fix it. Go back outside again. Take the fan-belt (pantyhose) from the car. Head down to Main street, then continue down to find the old bridge. Talk to Odie here, and give him the Puz dispenser - he will tell you where he keeps his worms. Return to Vera's Diner and open the ice box outside, then take some ice. Use the Abduct-o-tron.

Test

Go down the tube on the right, take some kibble. Use your ray gun on your block of ice to revive the crickets inside it. Climb up both tubes to reach the top level again. Move the wood shavings, then quickly go down the left tube and the tube in the floor. Immediately walk to the bottom right, next to the peanut.

After the fight, climb up once and use your ray gun on the water dish. Climb down the tube again and use your pantyhose on the motor. Put your kibble on the floor, then use the motor and go through the exit.

Sensory Perception Test

The goal of this test is to retrieve an Orion Burger from Elmo's island.

Earth

Head down to the old bridge, then left to the fork in the road. Move the sign, then wait here until the trucker drives past.

Return right twice to where you started, then go up the street towards Town Hall, and head inside. Knock on the door to Town Records. Ask to buy some property in the twenty dollar range, and sign for the property to get a deed. Go back outside, then left to Aunt Polly's house. Open the mailbox to get a phone bill and a whistle. Now go inside. Ignore Aunt Polly and go right into the kitchen. Now talk to Aunt Polly about the phone bill. Take the carrot juice from beneath the juicer.

Go back outside and head across the road to Vera's Diner, then continue left to Hanlon's Point. Use the rowboat, and you will tell Elmo that you bought his island - he will leave to investigate. Use the Abduct-o-tron.

Test

Pick up the burger morsel from on the path (right of the No Trespassing sign). Enter the cabin and take the matches from the table on the left, then go back outside. Give the burger morsel to Truffles the pig.

Go around to the backyard and use the carrot juice on the large boiler. Pick up the jug from the left and place it on the stool to the right. Use the fuel tank on the right, then use the matches on the boiler - if everything explodes, just use the Abduct-o-tron and play through this part again.

Pick up the jug of distilled carrot juice. Return to the front yard, then go down into the storm cellar. Use your jug of distilled carrot juice to drink it and improve your eyesight, then walk further into the mine. Now you need to keep using your whistle and walking to get closer to Truffles. When you eventually find Truffles, use the whistle once more, and take the Orion Burger from the probe.

Language Test

The goal of this test is to kill a series of Borks throughout Aunt Polly's house. You need to press colored buttons on a gizmo that you are given, then listen for the same sounds for hints on how to kill Borks of a matching color.

Test

Aunt Polly's house will be filled with Borks. Use the Abduct-o-tron, as you don't have everything you need yet.

Earth

Go to Aunt Polly's house and head inside. Go upstairs and enter the bathroom on the left. Pick up the laxative from the shelf over the basin on the right. Return outside and go to Vera's Diner. Head to the tour bus behind the diner (if it isn't here, go away and come back again). Talk to Drumz. Give him the laxative, then take the amplifier from on top of the tour bus. Use the Abduct-o-tron.

Test

You can now head around the house and kill the Borks:

  • Orange Bork: Head upstairs (avoiding the purple Bork on the rail) and enter the bathroom. Pick up the rubber duck and put it in the toilet. Pull the flush chain, then pull it again to flush the Bork.

  • Purple Bork: Collect some soapy water from the bath in your bottle. Leave the bathroom and use this on the railing of the stairs.

  • Red Bork: Downstairs, head right into the kitchen. Wait until the Bork jumps up to the microwave. Quickly pick up the rolling pin. Use it to hit the Bork, then use the microwave. While you are here, take the rubber gloves from the top of the high cupboard on the right.

  • Yellow Bork: Go down to the basement. Pick up the dirty sock from the floor, and put it in the wringer just behind the Bork. While you are here, use the switch for the outside breaker.

  • Blue Bork: Go to the parlor and take some kindling from the floor near the fireplace. Go back upstairs and enter Wilbur's room. Use your amplifier with the television.

  • Green Bork: Use your kindling on the fire in the television, and you will automatically take it downstairs to light the fire in the fireplace. Go back upstairs and into Wilbur's room, then climb out the window. While you are here, grab the Christmas lights and use them on the hole in the roof.

  • Pink Bork: Head back inside and enter Aunt Polly's room. Use the rubber gloves. Now grab the Christmas lights and use them on the telephone cord to the left.

Spaceship

Talk to Astral why you are in the brig, then you will be taken to the next test.

Logic Test

The goal of this test is to make everyone happy.

Test

Use the Abduct-o-tron, as you don't have everything you need yet.

Earth

Head down towards the old bridge, then continue left twice to find the Sheriff's car. Look in the car window and grab the keys. Use the keys on the trunk, then take out the Jawz o' Life. Quickly close the trunk and grab the keys. Look in the car window and return the keys to the ignition. Use the Abduct-o-tron.

Test

Give the deed to Elmo, and you will end up with a fish. Use the right disc to reach the impound yard.

Put your fish in the tire so the dog gets trapped. Use your Jawz o' Life on the gate, then use the lever on the back of the tow truck. Grab the hook and use it on the barred window, then use the lever once more. Grab the dog collar, and take the quarter from inside the jail. Go back outside and use the right disc to reach Vera's Diner.

Talk to Vipe. Give him the dog collar, then ask for his record collection. Take the records from the table. Use the left disc to reach the tour bus.

Watch as Vipe gives the collar to Roxy. Use the right disc to return to Vera's Diner.

Put the records into the jukebox, then use your quarter on the jukebox.

Spaceship

Talk to Flumix until you can ask about the meat locker. Talk to Astral about everything.