Change to lewd mode. Head to the northeast to play as a female, or the northwest to play as a male. Get the stool, then use the bathroom. Smell the odor then exit the bathroom. You may get some time to try to order a drink from the bar, before you are zapped and transported to a cell.
In your cell, get the flashlight, stool and blanket. Also take the brown food, but ignore the tray. Open the door and head south. Open the narrow cell door you find, and go south to meet your new travelling companion (Trent or Tiffany). Get the piece of paper and read it. If you cross out the letters from the words you can find in this matrix (rubber hose, blender, phonebook, angle, photo, mouse, headlight and cotton balls), the letters remaining spell out "Hissing frightens flytraps". Remember this for later. You can drop that piece of paper though.
Leave the cell and go up, then north into the closet. Turn on the flashlight, then drop the stool and stand on it so you can take the basket. Get down again and put everything in the basket. Stand on the circle.
Hiss at the flytrap to kill it, then turn off your flashlight. Head west and take the jar and examine it (and then read it). Your companion will now give you a matchbook, on which is written the 8 items you identified from the matrix earlier; you need these items to complete the game.
After reading the matchbook cover, head back to the east, and go east again. Ignore the hole in the grund and go east. Get the can of black stain and go northeast to find a plasticene house. Head east to a clifftop, then northwest into a Vizicomm Booth. Pull the coin return knob, then open the return box. Get the coin and examine it, then exit and go north.
Offer your flashlight to the salesman and you will get a TEE remover. Open the machine and put the untangling cream into it. Close the door and turn on the machine. Open the machine again and get the jar, which now contains unangling cream. Knock on the back door.
Mad Scientist's Lab
Head down the stairs into the lab. Quickly throw the candy into the cage before you get strapped down. Wait until you are in the body of the gorilla, then kiss the other gorilla and the scientist will get excited and leave. Now get the rubber hose and the candy. Eat the candy, and open the cage (you are made strong by the sugar rush). Exit the cage and drop the hose. Unstrap your companion, then unstrap yourself and pull the switch. As yourself again, get off the slab, then get the hose and put it in your basket. Now stand in the black circle to return to the Vizicomm Booth. Exit the booth and stand on the black circle here.
King Mitre's Castle
Go south to reach the throne room. Rub the cream on the princess, then take the angle and put it in the basket. Go south twice to enter the desert.
Head west and note the black circle but don't step in it. Go east twice and look at the frog. Try to kiss it, but you can't. Continue east to reach a dessert, then walk southeast. Get the rabbit. Use your stain on the circle, then stand in it.
Go south and get the sack, then empty it. Put all your belongings in the sack (it holds more than the basket), before heading north and northeast. Go upstairs. Take the sheet and tear it into strips, then tie the strips together to make a rope. Tie the rope to the bed, then throw it out the window. Say that you weight 999 pounds and your companion will climb down for you. Wait for a few turns, and he/she will reappear with a headlight. Get it and put it in the sack. Go down the stairs, then east to the garden. Move the sod, then stand in the circle.
Head up twice to reach the roof, then stand in the circle.
Go north three times and board the barge. Look at the controls. Push the orange button (to leave the dock), then the purple button. Wait once, then push the orange button and wait until you stop at Baby Dock.
Get off the barge and go north. Get the chapstick and the message. Read the message and decode it using your 3D comic book that came with the game - it will tell you the number of a person you will need to contact. Return south and board the barge. Press the orange button, then press it again and wait until you reach a dock. Repeat this until you reach Now THIS Is My Kind of Dock. Get off the barge and go east.
Head south and get a clothes pin, then return north and go northeast. Answer yes to the question, then after your companion is eaten, say "riddle". Go west and say the number from the message (remember it is backward). Enter the harem and wait for the wife/husband to arrive. Tell them to "kiss my kneecaps" and you will be given a map. Take the map and the torch, and head down.
Go northwest, north, northeast, east, clap, northeast, northeast, southeast, hop, clap, kweepa, down, northwest, northeast, clap, north, south, hop, northeast, clap, up, kweepa and northwest. Take the phone book.
Now clap, northwest, hop, south, southeast, clap, southeast, down, kweepa, northeast, clap, hop, west, north, northwest, clap, east, west, kweepa, hop, clap, southwest and southwest. Get the raft.
Go north, clap, northeast, east, hop, kweepa, clap, northwest, northeast, southeast, up, clap, northwest and hop. Stand on the black circle. You will either be teleported directly to your barge, or to the bottom of a well - if you are in the well, stand on the circle there to reach the barge.
Exit the barge again and go east, east and southeast. Go up the stairs and stand on the black circle. Wait here and you will fall through the floor into your old cell. There is now a black circle here that leads back to the Palace; don't go there yet. Instead go south, up twice and stand on the circle there.
Walk east to the frog. Put the clothespin on your nose and the lip balm on your lips. Drop everything you are carrying. Cover your ears with your hands, close your eyes, and kiss the frog. You can now remove and drop the pin, and wipe off the balm. Take the blender, then go west twice and stand on the circle to return to your cell. Head up, north and stand on the circle to reach the Palace.
Exit to the west and press the orange button (don't get on the barge) - the barge will leave without you. Walk east, east, southeast, up and stand on the circle, then go down to your cell. Go south, up twice and stand on the circle to reach the Desert again. Walk west and northwest to reach Hickory & Dickory Dock. Show the picture of the cat to the mouse then take the mouse. Go back south and stand on the circle. From the basement, go up and north, then stand on the circle. Head east and enter the well - you will reach the barge. If you go to the barge too early, you will die from a lethal ion beam that passes over the canal; following the route described here should time it well. You may need to wait a few turns until you reach the Icy Dock.
Exit the barge and go south, then southeast. Read the sign that the penguin is carrying. Give the penguin your coin, and he will give you a smaller coin in return. Continue southeast to find a Gypsy Camp. Enter the tent and get the baby, then put it in your basket. Put the blanket in the basket (if it is not there already) and the baby will fall asleep. Leave the tent and go south.
Look at the sign - the igloo is an orphanage, and the door is locked. Put the basket on the doorstep, and you will automatically sneak away and hide. Wait a few turns, and a large woman will open the door, pick up the baby and go back inside (but not lock the door). Open the door and go inside. Grab the cotton balls, then exit the igloo and go north, northwest and west. Stand on the circle here and you will return to Wattz-Upp Dock. Go west to the Oasis, and meet up with your companion again. Stand on the circle here to return to Cleveland.
Walk northeast and east, and stand in the circle. Go up and north into the closet and stand on the circle. Now go east, east, northeast and east. Stand in the circle to return to the Royal Docks. Put your raft in the water and board it. When you see the message that a dock is close enough to grab, grab it. Repeat this procedure until you reach Donald Dock.
Exit the raft and drop the raft on the dock. Head south, east, and south. Buy an exit, by giving the proprietor your coin. Pick up the tube (you may need to look in the dust several times to find it), and open it to get the exit. Go north, west and north. Put the raft in the water and board it again. Keep grabbing docks until you reach Wattz-Upp Dock. Go west and stand in the circle. Go northeast, east and stand in the circle again. Now go up, north and stand in the circle. Finally, go west and stand in the circle.
After your companion explodes, get the sword and go south. Mount the stallion and kick it, then go west. Dismount, get the white suit and wear it. Open the hatch and go north. You are now floating in space, confronted by an assassin. Attack the assassin with your sword. Repeat this until the assassin drops its sword. Pick it up and give it back to the assassin, who will then commit suicide. Now attack the monster and it will flee.
Free the man/woman, and enter the small spaceship. You will be given a photo by the captive you just saved. Open the door and go east to be further rewarded. Next exit the ship and go south, then east until you reach the black circle - stand on it. Once you reach the ground, drop your exit, then stand on it.
Wait a few turns and you will be ejected from the boudoir to a plaza. Your companion will ask you for each of the components for his attack machine - hand them over in turn to complete the game.