Her Majesty's SPIFFING
The Empire Staggers Back
Links: Adventure Gamers
Talk to Jones, then examine him a lot of times ("Every breath you take" achievement). Head left to get out of your chair ("One small step..." achievement). Push up the tray table on the back of your chair, then take the safety instructions. Examine these in your inventory, and remove the paper clip ("Don't show me this tip again" achievement). Now exit the cockpit to reach a corridor. Examine the gravity simulation switch and try to use it ("The Gravity Simulation Switch" achievement), then go down and through the door to the sitting room. Try to use the computer and the floppy drive, but you cannot get the disk out. Use your paper clip on the floppy drive, then take the disk. Examine the disk in your inventory and unlock it by sliding the little tab on the back. Pick up the controller from near the TV, then continue left into the kitchen.
Pick up both mugs from the table and get some cheese from the refrigerator. Also take the washy liquid from the bench (and try to make some toast if you like). Talk to GERTEA a lot of times ("Bring me my detonators!" achievement), then use both mugs on her to fill them with tea. Try to add washy liquid to both cups of tea ("Inconceivable" achievement) before returning all the way to the cockpit.
Save your game if you want to get all the achievements.
Give Jones your cup of tea; he will drink it and then spit it over the ship's controls ("Sharing is caring" achievement). Now reload your game.
Give Jones his own cup of tea and you will end up flying the ship yourself. Start hitting random buttons, and watch for the message that the fuel cell has been ejected. Now quickly move the lever near your left hand forward to crash into it ("Call Autoglass!" achievement). Keep pressing random buttons and you will eventually break them.
Leave the cockpit and enter the sitting room, then go through the other door into the bedroom. Walk on the small football players and crush one of them ("Leg breaker" achievement). Try to open the left cupboard but it is stuck. Pick up the batteries from the ground and combine them with your controller. Go right and grab the rubber glove from the sink. Return to the cockpit and sit down, then give the controller to Jones.
Return to the sitting room and put the floppy disk back into the drive. Use the computer to copy the driver onto the disk, then get the disk from the drive again. Examine it in your inventory and lock the disk again ("One can never be too careful" achievement). Go back to the cockpit and sit down, but Jones is now asleep. Wake him up by using your cup of tea on him ("I can't believe you've done this!" achievement). Now give him the floppy disk.
Exit the cockpit to the corridor again and open the hatch in the background. Try to fit down the hatch, but you are too large. Save your game if you want to get all the achievements.
Use your washy liquid on the hatch and you will slide down ("What a thrill" achievement). Now reload your game.
Go to the sitting room and use the treadmill ("Cardio, bruh" achievement). Return to the hatch and you should be able to climb down. Go through the round door into a room with a blue air compressor. Use the glove on this, then turn on the air compressor, and pick up the glove again (it is now your size). Go back through the airlock, then left past the ladder and through another door into the lab. Examine the box on the chair. Use the typewriter ("Master of Unlocking Achievements" achievement).
Leave the lab and continue left through the next door into engineering. Climb down the ladder here and use your glove on the electrified gate to open it. Go through and use the power switch to perform the hard reset. Go back out through the gate.
Search the tool box to find a screwdriver. Now climb back up the ladder and leave engineering. Climb up the ladder to return through the hatch, and enter the sitting room. Go to the far left to find Jones, and talk to him about everything - he will ask you to get him a motor.
Save your game if you want to get all the achievements.
Enter the bedroom and use your screwdriver on the cupboard door, then open it ("She's behind you!" achievement).
Give the screwdriver to Jones, and you will end up controlling the rover. Drive it around a bit, and you will send it outside. Drive around until you find another camp ("Premium Engineering" achievement).
Look at 4 rocks just around your spaceship. Search the supply crate, and you will end up giving Jones the binoculars from inside. Talk to Jones, then climb down the ladder. Walk over to the left until you have seen the Statue of Liberty ("Damn You All!" achievement). Look at 2 more rocks down here so you have seen 6 in total ("+1 Geology" achievement). Search the shrubbery to get a trowel. Continue to the other camp and select the option "By the power of Greyskull!" during your conversation ("Cringer" achievement).
Go and examine Beatle Two Too and you will get a rock. Go back up the ladder and into your own spaceship. Go through the airlock, up the ladder and into the sitting room. Enter the bedroom and go into the bathroom in the back section. Use your trowel to dig around in the cat litter and you will find a metal detector. Return to the sitting room and use the metal detector on the sofa to find a purse. Return to the corridor and climb down the hatch again.
Enter the lab and examine the box on the chair a second time ("... and simultaneously locked" achievement). Go over to the left and pick up the record, then examine it in your inventory and turn it over to the B side. Use the record on the gramophone, then use the bicycle to put the frogs to sleep - you need to pedal at the right speed to keep the gauge in the green ("Lullabies to paralyze" achievement). Now use your purse on the frog tank and you will get to play the claw game - make sure you miss the frogs on your first attempt ("#NailedIt" achievement). Play the game again and grab a frog, then take it from the prize drawer. Combine the frog and cheese in your inventory.
Exit the spaceship and return to the other camp. Use the frog and cheese on Antoine. Talk to Jones and ask him for more frog and cheese ("Cheese sir, I want some more" achievement). Use just the cheese on Antoine, and he will shoot holes in it. Now combine this cheese with your new frog and use it on Antoine.
Enter the French spaceship and use your rock on the big red emergency stop switch. Now use your washy liquid on the washing machine ("Bubbles!" achievement). Pick up the rock and use it on the emergency stop switch again, then put the rock in the washing machine. Go outside and tear down the French flag. Scroll through the songs on the music player until you get to "God Save The Queen" and you will have completed the game ("That's all we could afford" achievement).