Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy

Year:  1987

Genre:  Comedy

Links:  Moby Games, Adventure Gamers


Home Town

After filling out the license application form, walk west and take all. Go east and open the door, then give the us excess card to the man. If this isn't accepted, give him your beezer card. Take the bag, then go west and press the button to listen to your messages. Go east again and open the door, then go east and open the mailbox. Take the leaflet and read it (note it has a postage stamp).

Walk north and west, then examine the software and ask the clerk about it - answer "yes" to the question. Examine the cart, then open the case and take the adventure. Give the adventure to the clerk. Now you can put the recipe cart in the case.

Go east and drop the bag, then go east again and wait. Answer the waitresses questions in any way you want, then wait and order again. Wait once more, then take the burger. Next walk south, west and north, then take the bag and eat the burger. Walk north and east, then knock on the door. Go south and give the stamp to the man, then take the mail - examine it and make sure you note what letter is printed on the postal service sticker.

Head north and west twice, and give the letter to the agent. Take the ticket. Walk east, south twice, east and south again. Examine the door then open it. Go west and listen multiple times, until you hear the macaw say something. Next head east, north, west and south, and examine the door again. Ring the doorbell. Go north, east, south, west and south, then take the painting and go north. Show the painting to the macaw. Take the mail - again examine it and note the letter on the sticker.

Go east, north, west and south twice. Read the notice. Open the mailbox, then look in it. Examine the trough. Open the the bag, then empty it into the mailbox. Now take the mail, and examine it to see the letter.

Walk south and wait until you hear the voice on the intercom say "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain". Go north and west, then wait for a weirdo to arrive. Type "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain", then wait and he will say "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London". Now go east and south, and type "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London". Go south into the mansion.

Answer the questions you are asked from the following list:

  • By what percentage do students who exchange digital watches with multiple partners increase their chances of contracting bubonic plague? - 300%
  • What is the breeding ground for most major diseases? - yogurt
  • What secret FBI surveillance method is masquerading under the guise of a public service? - traffic helicopters
  • What local government-subsidised program poses the greatest threat to home privacy? - cable tv
  • How are the dentists of America conspiring to destroy the minds of our children? - novocaine
  • How do THEY learn so much about you? - garbage
  • What chemical is the international health conspiracy using to destroy our valuable body fat? - aspartame
  • Where is the centre of communist insurgency in the United States? - Ohio
  • The existence of which one of the fifty states of the union is a fiction invented by the Trilateral Commission for its own nefarious purposes? - Delaware
  • What do Ronald Wilson Reagan, Daniel Miguel Ortega, Dwight Eugene Gooden and Johnny Herman Carson have in common (and are a menace because of it)? - 666
  • Who is THEIR leader? - Queen Mum
  • What left-wing organisation foiled the coup d'etat directly after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, leading to decades of crypto-communist government in America? - NFL
  • What are the Mexicans unleashing on the United States for refusing to grant Mexico a major-league baseball franchise? - killer bees
  • What device is used by the banks to keep track of the whereabouts of American citizens? - ATM
  • What well-meaning legislation was actually a communist-inspired plot to destroy the American family? - GI bill

Examine the door, then try to cut the bar with the hacksaw. The weirdo will give you his Swiss army knife. Examine the knife, then press the button and pull the lever. Plug the power saw into the generator, then sit on the generator. Give the power saw to the weirdo, then sit on the generator again. Wait here several turns, then go north and up, and the paranoid guy and the weirdo should have left. Take the mail (examine it to see a letter again). Open the envelope, then read the memo and read the cheque (for -$75).

Walk north 7 times to enter the Bank - if it is closed, wait until it opens and head inside. Go north, then answer questions and go to random windows until you reach the withdrawal window - say "yes" and you will be given a withdrawal slip. Now keep going until you reach the cheque cashing window. Say "yes", then show the cheque and show your passport - they don't have any negative cash left. Keep going until you reach the deposit window. Say "no". Fill out the withdrawal slip (make it for $75), then give it to the teller. Get the cheque and give it to her, then show your passport. Now you need another withdrawal slip, so go back to the withdrawal window and ask for one. Fill out the withdrawal slip (again for $75) and give it to the teller. Show your passport and you will get the cash.

Walk south 4 times to reach your house, then west twice. Read the address book (the first page, then the last page) and call the cab company. Wait while you are put on hold, then go east twice and wait until the cab arrives (if it doesn't arrive, go back inside and call the company again, then go outside and wait). Try to enter the cab. Answer "yes" then show your passport. Enter the cab, then wait until you arrive at the airport. Pay the driver $17.50 and you will exit the cab.

Airport

Note: Don't worry if you lose your address book at the airport, you will get it back later. If you lose anything else, you will need to go to Lost and Found to collect it.

Head north twice to find that Omnia has been sold. Walk south twice, then go east until you find a sign that does not mention "Air Zalagasa". Go north twice. Wait 4 times, then give your ticket to the clerk. Say you want a direct flight, and you will receive a new ticket. Walk south and climb the pillar, then go up and examine the speaker. Pull the red and black wires, then connect red to black. Now open the grate and go up 4 times. Open the grate here, then go east. Tell the controllers to stop Flight 42. Go west, then down 6 times and you will end up in the airplane.

Airplane

Sit in seat 3C. Take the safety card, then read it (notice a picture is missing). Take the headphones, then wear them and plug them in. Press the light button (which actually controls the recline). Take off the headphones and drop them. Now wait for the flight attendant to arrive, and get your meal (you will end up with llama stew no matter what you say). Do not eat the stew.

Stand up and go south 5 times, then sit in seat 8D. Press the light button to recline seat 2C and spill your meal. Stand up again and go north 5 times, then sit in seat 3C. Put all in your pocket, then take the small piece of card and read it.

You will now be told there is a phone call for you. Stand up and go south 7 times, then pick up the phone. Answer "yes", "yes" and "no", then say "stinglai ka'abi" to the flight attendant and you will receive a parachute. Open the hatch, then lift the handle and pull it. Go east 3 times.

Wait until you see the attendant at the window, then knock on the window to get your strap free. Now pull the ripcord and wait.

Computer Complex

Take off the parachute and you will fall into a cooking pot. Put the recipe cart in your computer and you will be free to go, and given your address book and an unlabelled cart.

Get out of the pot, then examine the locker and read the sign. To unlock the door, turn the left and middle handles, then left and right, then left and middle again. Now open the door, go west and get the key-card. Examine the key-card, noting the letters RQH.

Return east. Put the unlabelled cart in your computer. Type "?", then "CLEAR", "NOOZ". Now use the print commands in the order you found the postage stickers in the game. For example if you found them in the order C, D, E, B, then type "PRINTC", "PRINTD", "PRINTE", "PRINTB".

Read the message from top to bottom, left to right: "To find the entrance to Headquarters, upon entering the first numbered room, go in any direction. Thenceforth, substract the number of the previous room from the number of the current room. Take the last digit of the difference. If it is zero, go East; if one, go South; if two, Up; if Three, North; if four, Down; if five, West. For example, the first numbered room is 64; the second is 105. The difference is 41, making the last digit one; you should go south in this case. Failure will return you to the antechamber."

Now type "QUIT" and head east into the Switchgear Rooms. Follow the instructions from the message to get through to the airlock. Put the key-card in the airlock slot, then open the door 5 times. Go north.

Walk west 3 times, then examine the left screen. Go west again and examine the computer. Read your address book (first page) - notice the first entry has changed. Connect the modular plug to the computer, then enter "RANDOM-Q-HACKER", "RAINBOW-TURTLE". Now type "?" to get a list of commands. Type "WHO" to see that 2 users are logged in, yourself and the nerd. Use "TYP" to view the contents of several of the .HAK files (importantly, view the DVH2.HAK file), then type "RUN" followed by "PLANE.EXE". This will have run a program that requests a plane to get you home later on.

Keep viewing files and you will eventually get a message that user RQH is about to use a certain file. Type "DEL", then that file that he was about to access. Next "REN", "DVH2.HAK", that file again. Use a few more random commands to waste time, then the nerd's computer will crash.

Home Again

Go west and up, then wait twice and an airplane will come to collect you. Walk west, south twice and west, then read the letter.