Look at the computer monitor to see it is dirty, then pick up the spray bottle and towel. Combine these two objects in your inventory, then use your moist towel on the computer monitor to clean it. Check your phone to see you got an email. Open the window and you will look outside. Drink some of the cola (Secret 1), then click on the moon 15 times (Secret 2). Back in your bedroom, use the computer. Try to read all 8 of your older emails first (Secret 11). Now read the new email, then click on the Reply button.
Hold down F1 on your keyboard and you will eventually hear a sound (Secret 26). Hold down Escape on your keyboard to keep looking at your phone and putting it away again. Eventually you will get phone signal (Secret 15). While you are at it, go to the Save/Load screen and input the Konami code (Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right) using the arrow keys on the screen (Secret 4). Now you might want to save your game, as there are some tricky secrets that may require backtracking if you are to get them all in one playthrough.
Click anywhere 3 times and your rusty chain will break. Head right and through the door. Try the light switch, but it doesn't work. Save your game, take the flag off the wall to see the message "CCCP", then load your game again. Continue through the door to the far right. Use the projector to see part of a video, then use it again to take the blue wire. Try the light switch, but it doesn't work. In your inventory, examine the blue wire 100 times - this will also work with any other inventory item later in the game (Secret 31). Read the suspicious blue book on the left bookshelf for a clue about the "CCCP" message, then leave this room. Go back left to the dungeon room and use the big power switch to turn power off. Return right and use the door with the keypad, then use your blue wire on the broken red wire here. Return left and turn the power back on, then go right and use the keypad - enter "2227". Hopefully the flag is still in place on the wall (Secret 8). Now go through the door.
Walk into the room and talk to EMO until the mainframe turns on. Examine the mainframe and remove the ladybug (Secret 3) , then talk to EMO again. Examine the mainframe once more, then talk to EMO and offend him until he starts crying. Talk again and comfort him, then apologize. Flatter him until his monitor starts bobbing around, then choose "Encourage to face the inner demons". After the nuke is launched, go through the door to the right.
Pick up the planks covering the hole in the floor, then head right. Return left and back to the room with EMO. Repeat this process so you walk past the painting of the safe 26 times and you will eventually comment that you are lost (Secret 5). Now go right and through the other doorway in the back. In here you need to walk to the left behind the tanks, to the left between the tanks, to the right in front of the huge oil tanks, and to the right between the huge oil tanks (Secret 12). Use the tool rack on the left to get hammer and nails. Click on the bullet press and you will end up looking inside. Take out the gear from the top left, then put it back in again. Press button 3, button 1 and finally button 2 to fix the press. Go back to the corridor with the hole in the floor. Combine the hammer and nails with the plank in your inventory to make a ladder, then use this on the hole and climb down.
Try to turn the valve, but it is stuck. Pick up the piggy bank, then climb back up the ladder. Go right and through the other doorway, then use the piggy bank on the bullet press. Use the bullet press, then pick up the coins. Go back to the corridor with the ladder and continue left. Talk to the lady and flirt 5 times (Secret 14). Now talk to her and greet her, then choose either animal. Give your soviet money to Gusta and you will receive some oil. Return back and down the ladder. Use your oil on the valve here. Climb up the ladder and go right to where the water has now drained. Jump over the gap, backwards and forwards, until the pipe cracks (Secret 6).
On the right side of the gap, examine the light and you will get a bulb. Go right to find an alarm corridor. Look through the first door on the right to find a security room, then go through the door to the far right to find room 42. Try the light switch, but it doesn't work. Look through the grate on the floor and try to open it. Go through the back door into a smelting room and try using your oil on the AK-47's on the left wall (Secret 10). Pick up the key mold from the right, then exit this room and go through the door to the right. Take the Wimpyboss virus from the desk. Try the light switch, but it doesn't work. Leave this room and save your game again.
Go through the doorway at the bottom of the screen to find a corridor with a sleeping dog at the far end. Make your way along the corridor avoiding the broken glass, chains, water and dog toys. Use the oil on the door and go through without waking the dog (Secret 13) - if you don't succeed the first time, load your game and try again. Now continuously right-click on the wall to the right to see the writing on the wall as it flashes up (Secret 7). Go through the hole in the brick wall on the right and pick up the staff. Now go all the way back to Gusta's kitchen and use your staff on the door to the right, then go through. Use your light bulb on the lamp so you can see the room. Examine the monkey wrench on the ground, and hopefully you already examined the floor grate earlier (Secret 9). Now pick up the monkey wrench and the radioactive carrot.
Return to EMO again and use your Wimpyboss virus on the mainframe. Return to the right and remove the painting of the safe to reveal a real safe. Use this and turn the dial to the right 29 times in a row (Secret 18). Now use the safe again and turn the dial right until it clicks, left until it clicks, and so on until it opens. You will automatically grab the pile of bills and pile of gold coins.
Head right and through the back door to the tank room. Use your monkey wrench to remove the tank wheel. Leave this room and head right over the gap and right twice more to return to room 42. Open the lid of the alarm control box and insert your radioactive carrot. Also cross the wires at the top of the alarm box. Return left and press the red alarm button. Enter the security room and use your unused mold on the key hanging on the right. Use the monitors and press the power button to break it, then you will automatically leave the room. Return right to room 42, then go through the back door. Use your gold coins in the basin, then bills in the fireplace, and your key mold on the right. Now pick up your golden key. Leave this room and go down and along the dog's corridor, then through the hole in the brick wall. Use your tank wheel on the winch, then activate the winch and take a gas mask from the open crate.
Return back along the dog's corridor and go left, then use your golden key on the locked door to the left. Use the gas mask on yourself before heading inside. Pick up the chemistry set from the shelves at the back. In your inventory, combine the yellow and red liquids, then add the blue liquid and use the dropper on it. Now use your science liquid on the radioactive barrel. Use your hammer and nails on the same barrel, then push the barrel aside. Take the pole, then push the crate that you can reach. Climb up and use the control box, then head through the door.
Walk down to a fenced area with a blocked exit. Look at the dark hole in the wall to the left 5 times (Secret 20). Grab the pipe from the wall, then return to the starting area and head down the stairs to the right. Take the fire hose from the wall, then enter the women's bathroom to meet Dimitri. Take the pipe above his head, then return to the starting area again. Click on the nitrogen tanks, then attach your bronze pipe and fire hose. Turn the pressure dial to the far right before pressing the start button, and you will end up with an empty vodka bottle. Use your remaining pipe to complete the circuit. Use the vodka bottle in your inventory to remove the cork, then use this to plug the hole in the pipe. Turn the pressure dial back to the far left and press the start button again to fill the smaller tank. Back out and turn the crank and you will end up with the handle. While you are here, collect some of the dirty water from the ground in your vodka bottle. Now head downstairs again.
Use the nitrogen tank, then use your hammer and nails on the ice wall. Pick up the ice cubes and put them in your vodka bottle, then head through the new door. Click on the bunch of ropes on the right wall. Now keep pulling the 1st rope until the room shakes, then pull the 2nd until the room shakes, followed by the 3rd and 4th - a sandbag will fall down. Repeat this process twice more, then pull the new rope that falls down, and pick up the roll of duct tape. Keep pulling the rope and picking up the duct tape another 7 times (Secret 16).
Leave this room and return to Dimitri in the women's bathroom. Give him the chilled vodka and you will receive half a screwdriver. Combine this with your handle and duct tape. Leave here and look at the lock on the men's bathroom. Use your screwdriver to undo the 4 screws and take the coin inside. Go back to the women's bathroom and offer the coin to Dimitri (Secret 17). Go back to the men's bathroom and use the coin on the slot so you can get inside. Take the hand cream, then go back out to the starting area and head down to the fenced area. Use the hand cream on the hand so you can take the crowbar. Use your crowbar on the boarded exit.
Once you are captured, move your mouse cursor over the red paint to turn it red. Drag it back and forth over the boss cat's eyes several times (Secret 23). Now you need to move your cursor around the screen to lure the small grey cat around:
- Between the cat picture and the cardboard boxes
- On top of the computer monitor
- Beneath the RATS poster on the right wall
- Near the power cord on the right
- The light switch on the left
Touch the graffiti on the left wall 4 times (Secret 25). Take the hose from the left and try the light switch, but it doesn't work. Save your game again, then go down. On the next screen you will see the feet of the "Communizer 2000" robot. If you go to the right you will see a control unit and the view will pan out - this will prevent you from getting Secret 19, so if you do this, load your game again. Instead, walk behind the robot's feet. Break the barrel and pick it up, then use the elevator to go up to level 1.
Enter the doorway here and take the recording device and pump from the table, and the hamster from inside its cage. Leave the room and use the elevator twice to go up to level 3.
Enter the doorway here and try to use the hamster on the toilet (Secret 21). Use your pump on the toilet, then take the tip of the blood-soaked sword from the statue. Leave the room and connect your hose with the one on the ground. Break one of the speakers off the robot's shoulder, then use the elevator to head down to level 2.
Walk left over the walkway and through the door. Pick up the letter in the foreground, then open the back door to get a bucket and another hose. Go through the left door. Try the final light switch, but it doesn't work (Secret 30). Use the boom box to get a cassette, then put this in your recording device. Interact with the ceiling light, then look at it (Secret 24). Pick up the sweaty towel from the exercise bike, and the resistance band from the floor. Leave this room and use the entertainment system.
Swords & Fireballs VII
Click Continue. Start by walking forward. You will see a message saying you must pick up the sword before continuing. Ignore this and keep trying to walk past the sword 7 times (Secret 22). Now pick up the sword, and you will discard it anyway. Keep going forward and talk to the villager. When you encounter the dark orcs, just keep attacking until they die. Talk to the villager again, then enter the castle. Inside, talk to the orc selling raid tickets, but don't buy one from him. Go and open the cage containing Tecu, then have him follow you up to the top door and click on it - Tecu will break the lock. Click on Tecu 11 times (Secret 27). Go through the door, then walk forward and start another battle. Click attack until your win meter is full, then click Win. After the game glitches, keep clicking around the place until a new game begins.
Comrades & Communism VII
Click Continue. Walk forward (keep trying) and talk to the man asking for passports, then go through the door. Talk to the boss here, then keep dodging his missiles until he kills himself. You will now see a secret code - Face, Skull, Dino, Skull - remember how this looks or or write it down.
Leave the room and examine the hand mechanism. Take the hose from inside. Use the handle to pump up the pressure 3 times, then press the button to release the top axle, then click it to remove it. Click on the rusty gear to break it away. Use the handle 3 more times, flip the switch and press the button to release the bottom axle. Use the resistance band on either axle, then put the gear on the top and the broken barrel on the bottom. Use the handle to lock both axles again. Back out and now use the launch codes console, entering the code you learned from the game. Use your hose on the hose hanging to the right, then use the elevator to head down to level 1.
Connect your last hose to the one hanging here and it will join up to the robot. Go through the doorway here. Use your recording device with cassette on the computer. While you are here, use the computer again; turn on the monitor, then click on the snake sticker at the top left (Secret 28). Combine your propaganda and bucket to create a speaker system. Now examine the bunch of stuff on the table. Use your sweaty towel on the vibrating balls, your blood-soaked sword on the measuring cup, and your letter on the tearer. Now take the test tube containing Chemical X. Combine this with your hamster. Back out and leave the room, then use the elevator to go up to level 2.
Walk left over the walkway, through the doorway and left into the gym. Use the hamster on the treadmill and the weight to end up with Hamzilla. Leave the gym and the next room, and go to the hand mechanism again. Use Hamzilla on the broken barrel. Use the elevator and go up to level 3.
Use your speaker system on the shoulder (where you broken the speaker off earlier). Enter the doorway here and use the toilet. Pick up all the solid bits, then back out and use the pump twice. Use the toilet and remove the solid bits again, then use the pump once more. This will complete the robot repairs (Secret 19).
Try to reach the levers on the right 4 times and you will fall through the floor. Use the ladders on the right twice to climb up, and try the levers again. Climb up and try the levers once more. Pick up the pipe and drop it through the hole in the floor. Click on the huge monitor in the middle to tilt its screen. Climb down the ladders on the left, then use the exhaust port's button. Climb up both sets of ladders and use the levers. Use the red wire, then climb down. Use the red wire again, then flip the switch on the left. Climb back up and press the self destruct button. While talking with the ghost, select "Who are you?", "This is a bullshit tneindg", "The others?" (Secret 29). Now select any of the 3 colored parts. After the credits, click on the soldier on the top of the roof (Secret 32). Hopefully you found all 32 other secrets in a single playthrough so you get the last one (Secret 33).